I’ve been thinking… when does one actually start to yearn for acceptance and self esteem boosting?
- Is it when we’re born?
- Is it when we first feel the pain of non-acceptance?
- Is it when we begin to be challenged in sports?
- Is it when we fall into the spell of ‘peer pressure’?
- Is it when we fall in love?
- Is it when we start a new job?
- Is it when we move to a new city or country?
- Is it when we try something new?
I believe it is all of the above, when people feel the need to be accepted, they’ll do everything they can to succeed in this quest.
Athletes and body builders will take drugs to win (i.e. gain acceptance)
When we fall in love, our entire being wants to feel accepted by our partner.
Authors will spend hours and hours to write the exact words to please their readers and go to great lengths to publish their creation.
Starting a new job is a definite acceptance need, we need to fit in so we can relax and apply ourselves 100% to our job.
Moving to a new country or city or even just a new neighborhood, can be very challenging for us and the impulse to be liked, accepted and fit in, is an important step in our settling in.
The pain of non-acceptance for the first time cuts like a knife. It wounds us for life, creating a scar that we grow with..
All these worries, needs and desires are within all of us. Some of us feel the hunger for acceptance less than others. Some of us cannot live with out acceptance, becoming obsessed in our thinking, trying anything we can to fit in.
The need for acceptance affects our self-esteem which in turn affects our emotional stability where jealousy, worry and anxiety stem from… If you know the feeling of non-acceptance or low self-esteem, then you know how controlled you are by the worry that can ensue and how trapped this can make you feel.
Feelings of non-acceptance and low self-esteem can often lead to feelings of being at war within… It reminds me of the wee angel over one shoulder and the wee devil over the other scenario.
It’s definitely no fun when you feel trapped by the struggle for dominance between the two! In fact it can feel like you are imprisoned by it, not only do you have to balance the two sides, but you may also feel guilty when you realize that you are not achieving the results that support where you want to go in life.
One of the most important things to me in the work I do is to help people realize that they are not alone and that what is going on with them is not a reason to shut off from the people around them that may provide inspiration and support. Acceptance begins with being able to accept all aspects of ourselves (yep – warts and all!) 😉
