Are You Dependent on Approval from Others?
One of the things that holds many people back from the type of success and happiness they deserve and desire is worrying about receiving approval from others.
On one hand, it is important to gain affirmation from friends, family, colleagues and peers that you are on the right track, doing a good job and so on. However, if you find yourself holding back from things you would really like to do because of the thought, “What will people think?” it might be time to break this cycle and use personal affirmations to help you live your best life.
In the 1949 Hollywood film “The Fountainhead,” egotistical architect Howard Roark is asked by his competitor, Ellsworth Toohey, “Mr. Roark, we’re alone here. Why don’t you tell me what you think of me in any words you wish?”
Howard Roark’s reply is: “But I don’t think of you!”
The answer is a reflection on the character, but also on many people in general. Why bother to try to keep up with the Joneses, for example, when they probably don’t even know you exist?
When we are children, we want to please our parents and others because it can literally be a case of survival. If you are “bad,” you might be sent away to the corner alone, away from the comfort of the “tribe.”
However, there are some parents who simply can’t support and affirm their children emotionally. Saying, “You did great!” or “I’m proud of you,” is almost impossible. This can lead to serious emotional consequences, not least of which is that the child – and adult he or she becomes – is constantly trying to please a person who is incapable of being pleased.
At work, we do not always get the acknowledgement we need from bosses and colleagues, or prospective customers. This can leave us feeling undervalued and unappreciated, with our talents going to waste. This might make us so unhappy that we start to consider quitting because we have hit so many blocks.
We might even start to dream of running our own business. We might then mention the idea to others and get validation that we would be a success if we were to try. Of course, some naysayers might argue the opposite, that we have a good job with a steady paycheck and shouldn’t do anything too risky.
Becoming a “people pleaser” and doing what everyone else wants, instead of being comfortable with yourself and your achievements, is a stressful life path. There’s no point in being a people pleaser if you aren’t pleased yourself. And the truth is that many people are so self-absorbed that they aren’t really paying attention to what you are doing anyway, unless they are a complete control freak.
Try one or all of these affirmations today, and see what a difference they can make to your life:
1. I am happy with my life.
2. I strive to do my best at all times.
3. I live life on my own terms.
4. I resist damaging influences.
5. I enjoy whatever life brings me.
6. I handle stressful situations well.
7. I am in control of my emotions.
8. I learn from any mistakes I might make, and always try to do better.
9. I deserve to be happy.
10. I always take the higher path.
Use these affirmations to remind yourself of your worth and how deserving you are of happiness, so you can live your best life on your own terms.
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