Stopping Negative Behaviors Before They Stop You
Do you have some negative behaviors that you want to get a handle on? Whether it’s something you do to self-sabotage or an action that annoys others, it’s important to examine the impact of what you’re doing.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could eradicate your difficult behaviors before they spread negative vibes around you?
Here are some techniques to try to stop engaging in troublesome behaviors before they become detrimental to your life:
1. Claim the power you have to stop the actions that bother you. Look in the mirror and say it out loud: “Only I can stop (fill in the blank).” Then, promise yourself to make a concerted effort to stop the actions.
2. Pay closer attention to what you’re doing. So much of what we do each day is done without any forethought. If you consciously focus your thoughts on any actions you’re about to take, you’ll have an increased chance of erasing the troublesome behaviors from your repertoire.
3. Slow down your thinking. When your mind starts racing, it’s your first clue that you might be about to take an action you may later regret. Take a deep breath and re-focus on a positive action, instead.
4. Identify situations, people, and events that trigger your negative behavior. For example, perhaps in social situations, you talk too much. You interrupt others, finish their sentences, and other people have little opportunity to talk. Take an honest look within and check your negative behavior. When is it most likely to happen?
5. Decide what you’ll do instead. Make a plan for what you’ll do in place of the negative behaviors. For example, if you want to stop talking too much in a social situation, what could you do instead of speaking?
- Staying with this example, you could make the decision to “experiment” with listening to others, just to see what you can learn from them. You would talk less and practice listening each time you’re in a social situation. Later, ask yourself, “How did I do? How did it feel to listen instead of talk?”
- Who knows what great things could happen from making a decision to cease your troublesome behavior!
6. Ask close friends and family members for their assistance in stopping the behavior. For example, tell your sister or your best friend that you’re committing to stop interrupting people so much. Ask them to touch your elbow at the next family reunion or social function each time they notice you interrupting. This way, you’ll have a cue to stop the behavior.
7. Say you’re sorry when you engage in the behavior, if it affects others. Staying with the example of talking too much, as soon as you realize you interrupted someone, say, “I’m sorry I interrupted you. Please do go on. I’m interested in what you were saying.”
- Showing humility will help you learn to stop the old behavior and change it to a more effective action.
8. Seek expert guidance if you need it. If you’ve been working on your troublesome actions for a while and have had less success than you want in stopping them, asking a Mindfulness Coach to assist you can be a big help.
It’s up to you to avoid behaviors that cause you difficulties or discourage people from wanting to spend time with you. Banish your unwanted behaviors for good by putting the above steps into action. Remember, only you have the capacity to stop your negative behaviors before they stop you!
