Emotional intelligence is considered a much better predictor of success than pure intelligence. In many cases, it does not matter how intelligent you are.
I’m sure you know plenty of people that possess average intelligence that are very successful. The struggling genius is quite common. There is more to life than being able to do calculus in your head.
Making good decisions, communicating effectively, having positive relationships, and managing yourself well can be far more valuable and powerful than a genius-level IQ.
Boost your emotional intelligence with these strategies:
1. Become an excellent listener.
Think about the best listener you know. You probably hold that person in high regard. Listening is a lost art that few people are interested in revitalizing.
- During your next conversation, notice what happens while you are speaking. The other person is likely bored, distracted, and simply waiting to speak.
- You will do much better with people and have fewer misunderstandings if you put all your attention on the other person during a conversation. They will even think that you are a great conversationalist. Try it out and see for yourself!
2. Pause before you respond.
Think of all the times you wish you had kept quiet. Taking a moment to collect your thoughts can be a real advantage. You will save yourself a lot of angst if you give yourself the opportunity to respond wisely, or to not respond at all.
- Give yourself all the time you need to make an intelligent decision.
3. Develop self-awareness.
Very few people are self-aware. We have little idea of how others perceive us or how we come across to them. Think about how odd it is to hear a recording of your own voice, or how you seem to look heavier in photos than you thought you were. That is only the beginning!!
- You might be significantly more rude or obnoxious than you think. Maybe you are dismissive to others and don’t even know it.
- Ask someone you trust what they think your biggest problem is. You may be surprised by what you hear. You likely won’t like the answer, but you will know in your heart that it is true.
4. Learn how to motivate yourself.
Life is easy if you can get yourself to do the things you know you should do. However, few of us are effective in motivating ourselves to do those things consistently.
- You can avoid a lot of the drama life has to offer if you can simply do the things that need to be done, when they need to be done.
- Consider why you procrastinate when faced with tasks that are unappealing to you. You are going to have to do them eventually. Why not put yourself out of your distress as soon as possible and simply get them done?
5. Analyze your emotions.
Notice your emotions while you are experiencing them. Try doing this in place of quickly responding to them.
- For example, if someone says something that irritates you, rather than reply in a hostile manner, ask yourself why you are experiencing this emotion. What caused it? Is it reasonable? What is an intelligent way to respond?
6. Be assertive.
There are advantages to being assertive. You have a much better chance of getting what you want. You will also be more transparent to others. People won’t have to guess what you want from them.
- Your relationships will have fewer misunderstandings, too, if you are upfront with your feelings and concerns.
Emotional intelligence might be what you are missing from your life. You can be goal-oriented, committed, and capable, but it is difficult to rise above the level of your emotional intelligence.
How would you rate your emotional intelligence? In what areas could you improve? There are several books on the subject, and many contain diagnostic tests. This might be a great place to start.
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